“I Can Transform Ya” (6) – Letter to My Former Self

transformation 2018

Dear Elisha,

I know life has been hard for you over the years and you’ve tried to smile and joke things away as a way of dealing with it.  You’ve supported people even when you feel like you’re doing practically everything alone.  Neglected to the point when you started neglecting yourself.  Don’t beat yourself up about any of that baby girl.  You kept yourself going the best way you knew how.  Burying yourself in various jobs and courses, and going into somewhat hiding when you’ve been hurt in order for you to lick your wounds and come back stronger.  You found comfort indulging in the food you loved to the point that would hide your pretty self under all that fat as a form of protection to avoid attention.  But you know what, I’m learning and healing for the both of us now.

We waited patiently for us to turn 34 so we can have a fresh start at life.  You dedicated your life to your baby boy with no regrets.  You sacrificed your dreams in exchange for the only love you’ve been able to fully experience.   The only person you’ve been able to love freely and understand inside and out.  All the things you’ve been through are preparing us for what is to come.  This year rocked us to our core and could have had us eat ourselves into an oblivion, as matters of the heart hit us the hardest, but guess what?  Life has shown us that we can get through anything.  We are strong.  We are resilient.  And we will not accept anyone having us question our character anymore!

I need you to know that you are special, you are a good person, you have a big heart, you are talented beyond belief, and anyone having you in their life would be blessed to have you.  What’s amazing is that I get to know you better than anyone else.  We are human.  On our behalf, I am trying my best not to absorb it when people mistreat us.  It’s hard because we walk around in a suit of armour but we are big softies at heart.  We don’t usually feel safe enough to open up and show that side of us.  This year was the first time in our life, we dropped our armour instantly and we felt safe enough with someone to be our whole self but it came with some backlash. We cried our tears even though we didn’t think it was possible to cry like that.   Understood by few and underestimated by many.  Sad but true.  We are magic and only a handful can see us.  But listen, their behaviour is not about us, it’s about them and even though you feel invisible sometimes rest assured that I SEE YOU!

Things are starting to fall back into place and we will get our happily ever after that we deep down requested with love from the Universe.  We met the manifestation of our heart’s song, so we know we can get what we want but all in good time.  You just keep being you.  You are perfect just the way you are.  I will work harder to shine our light for the both of us.

We are forever learning and evolving,

I love you forever and always,

Li xxx

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