“I Can Transform Ya” (6) – Letter to My Former Self

transformation 2018

Dear Elisha,

I know life has been hard for you over the years and you’ve tried to smile and joke things away as a way of dealing with it.  You’ve supported people even when you feel like you’re doing practically everything alone.  Neglected to the point when you started neglecting yourself.  Don’t beat yourself up about any of that baby girl.  You kept yourself going the best way you knew how.  Burying yourself in various jobs and courses, and going into somewhat hiding when you’ve been hurt in order for you to lick your wounds and come back stronger.  You found comfort indulging in the food you loved to the point that would hide your pretty self under all that fat as a form of protection to avoid attention.  But you know what, I’m learning and healing for the both of us now.

We waited patiently for us to turn 34 so we can have a fresh start at life.  You dedicated your life to your baby boy with no regrets.  You sacrificed your dreams in exchange for the only love you’ve been able to fully experience.   The only person you’ve been able to love freely and understand inside and out.  All the things you’ve been through are preparing us for what is to come.  This year rocked us to our core and could have had us eat ourselves into an oblivion, as matters of the heart hit us the hardest, but guess what?  Life has shown us that we can get through anything.  We are strong.  We are resilient.  And we will not accept anyone having us question our character anymore!

I need you to know that you are special, you are a good person, you have a big heart, you are talented beyond belief, and anyone having you in their life would be blessed to have you.  What’s amazing is that I get to know you better than anyone else.  We are human.  On our behalf, I am trying my best not to absorb it when people mistreat us.  It’s hard because we walk around in a suit of armour but we are big softies at heart.  We don’t usually feel safe enough to open up and show that side of us.  This year was the first time in our life, we dropped our armour instantly and we felt safe enough with someone to be our whole self but it came with some backlash. We cried our tears even though we didn’t think it was possible to cry like that.   Understood by few and underestimated by many.  Sad but true.  We are magic and only a handful can see us.  But listen, their behaviour is not about us, it’s about them and even though you feel invisible sometimes rest assured that I SEE YOU!

Things are starting to fall back into place and we will get our happily ever after that we deep down requested with love from the Universe.  We met the manifestation of our heart’s song, so we know we can get what we want but all in good time.  You just keep being you.  You are perfect just the way you are.  I will work harder to shine our light for the both of us.

We are forever learning and evolving,

I love you forever and always,

Li xxx


“I Can Transform Ya” (5)

I’m coming back 💃🏽💃🏽💃🏽 27.3 lbs down and counting! Still got a way to go but I’m getting there 🏆🏆🏆

The pic on the left was back in December 2017 when I supposed to start my journey but it was silly timing 🙈 When I got my pic on the right sent to me yesterday I had to share because I don’t roll with someone all the time in order to get a full body pic.

I’m so proud of myself!

I’ve only had a few minor gains since I started on the 7th February and I haven’t been doing any emotional eating even though I’ve had a lot going on recently.

I signed back up to the gym 26th April and it’s been helping me release, especially the days I haven’t been feeling too good. Anyone who has been following my insta story, snapchat or facebook story on my like page know I’ve been in the gym practically everyday or working those gardens of mine lol!

The next step is to incorporate more weights into my workouts 💪🏾 I have an idea of what I want to look like and I intend to sculpt my body accordingly.

My next mini goal is to try and lose a stone by my son’s birthday on 1st October 👀 Let’s see if I can get it 😁

Losing weight is hard work so I hope I can help motivate someone else who is trying. You are not alone x

Until next time.

Forever learning and evolving,

Elisha x

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“We Are Family” (11)

we are fam 11

Being a mum has been the most rewarding job I have ever had but it is hard sometimes. It develops a strength in you that you may not have thought you originally had, especially when facing hard times.

I am so thankful that have my son.  He gives me a reason to stay focused and keep it pushing through anything that comes my way.

We’ve been through so many ups and downs over the years and knowing that no matter what is going on, I have look after him, keeps me motivated.

Times when I’m feeling low or burned out, I know I need rest but I can’t stay down too long.

Times when things don’t seem to be working out how I’d like, I have to find another way forward.

Times when I need to smile, he may say something to me that reassures me that I’m doing a good job, whether he realises the impact of what he said or not.

When I think back to when had him at 18, I wasn’t around anyone else who was having children until I moved into a mother and baby unit, due to me not being able to stay living with my mum, as she wasn’t well.  My son and I left home and moved out of our familiar areas when he was 3 1/2 weeks old.  The mother and baby unit was like a hostel for mothers and babies, where you share a flat with another mother and child with 24 hour staff, midwives and stay and play.  I stayed there for 6 months before moving onto my second.

The second hostel was further out again with staff on site from early morning until 9pm Monday – Friday.  We had our own little flats and were taught to be more independent, preparing us for when we moved into our own properties.  I learnt a lot and met quite a few people that I am still in touch with.

I’ve been living in this house I’m in now for 13 1/2 years and is the longest place ever lived consistently throughout my whole life.  That may sound stable and I suppose it is in comparison to some but I’ve never had it how I want it.  That is something I am always working on.  To be honest, I’m hoping to move out of it soon.  It is something I scarily look forward to.  My neighbours have watched me and my son grow up and evolve into the people we are today.  When we first moved here, I was 21 and my son was 2 1/2 years old.  There have been loads of memories and ghost of old faces attached to this house but I am looking forward to moving on,  I need a fresh space.

I digress … the point I was making was, there is no rule book to parenting and believe me I have tried and continue to try to be the best the mum I can.  I’ve watched others, read books and took courses over the years to help me.  I only had one cousin who had three children at a young at the time and I used to visit him and his girlfriend often before I even thought about having a baby, so I knew it wasn’t going to be easy.  None of my school friends or siblings had children, so it was a lonely path at times.  But I took on the sole responsibility and have kept persevering.

If I didn’t have any more children in future, I wouldn’t be upset because I have one and he is amazing ❤ but the idea is lovely ❤

There are things I would like to experience such as parenting as a couple.  Like, both of you maybe planning it all, being there at the birth and both sharing the responsibility with both parent’s input.  Even though I have done it alone for the most part, TEAMWORK MAKES THE DREAM WORK!  I would just love to know what that would be like.  Single parent households seems way too common.  I would like to be with someone who wants to break the mold and we can show each other something different.

Apologies if I went off a little bit, I just write what’s on my mind at the time.

I hope you enjoyed today’s post and if there is anything you would like to share, please feel free.

Until next time.

Forever learning and evolving,

Elisha xxx

“I Can Transform Ya” (4)

It’s been a while guys but I couldn’t write a post until I had some results to show 👀

I’ve dropped 18.4 lbs so far and I have to say that I am so proud of me 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

I started out writing my first weight loss blog on the 19th December 2017. In all honesty, it was not the best timing. We had Christmas, New Years and January Blues but I started a fresh on 7th February 2018 and have been consistent with it since then. I’m happy with my achievement so far but I’m most proud of the fact that I had a recent upset that could have set me right back to emotional eating. In the past, getting the munchies in and/ or a good takeaway would bring me some sort of comfort but I didn’t succumb to it! I remained focused 🏆 I didn’t want to harm myself just because someone hurt me. So I didn’t.

This journey is one that I have to take one day at a time. Breaking bad habits that you have developed over years is so hard! In the last couple of months I have cut out the biscuits, snacks and just try not to generally over indulge. It seems to be working so far 😁

Within the last couple of months, I tried a few things:

– Herbalife for the first 4 weeks with which I managed to lose 9 lbs. That wasn’t too bad but found it expensive to re- up.

– Self control from week 5 up until last week in which I lost 9.4 lbs in total.

– Last week I thought I’d try SlimFast to assist me and see how it goes. I put on 0.2 lbs so I’ll see if I get better results next week.

– And finally I re-joined the gym again today. It’s Bhangra Burnoff tonight 💃🏽💃🏽💃🏽 and I’m looking forward to it.

I aim to check in with you all on the 1st June with an update and possibly a progress picture. Wish me luck ☺️

I hope you enjoyed today’s post and feel free to share anything that slows you down from losing weight and reaching your goals. Also, if you have any tips on what works or has worked for you, please share.

Until next time.

Forever learning and evolving,

Elisha xxx

“We Are Family” (10)

People take certain things for granted but as much as I love to travel, I still haven’t been on a plane.

I’ve been on practically everything else accept a ✈️

Like I told you all in an earlier blogpost, possibly more than once lol, I’ve been looking forward to this year with me turning 34 and my son making his first step into adulthood. Well, I thought the best birthday gift I could give him was something I never had the opportunity to experience as of yet, going on a plane to somewhere hot. You know this boy was not impressed in the least 😲

Disappointment 💔

I love making my loved ones smile and this just burst my bubble 😔

To him it was a waste of money because he wants to build his own computer. He was like:

“Why would you spend money on a week or something somewhere when I’ll use my PC all the time and have it for years!”

Gotta love his logic but bwoi! I believe you must seize opportunities when they come and that experiences are valuable. There are quiet times in your life when all you have are memories. With that said you need to create as many happy memories as possible. I know I’ve had times when I think back to how someone made me feel, things I’ve done and places I’ve been to. They bring you comfort when you least expect because you don’t know when you’ll need to tap into them.

Guess what? I’m not going to dismiss what he said, so PC’s getting sorted 👍🏾

Now that I’ve done my part, as I aim to please ☺️ Do you think he’ll want to go now? 😏

All being well we get this sorted and I can bring my mum along too, she hasn’t been on a plane either. We’ve been out of the country a couple times but I have a list of places I would really like to visit:

  • St Kitts 🇰🇳 (Mama Bear’s family’s birthplace)
  • St Elizabeth, Jamaica 🇯🇲 (The biological’s family’s birthplace)
  • Italy 🇮🇹 (I want to go on the gondolas and definitely for the food lol!)
  • Amsterdam (🤫)
  • Scotland 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 (curiosity)
  • Egypt 🇪🇬 (Too many reasons)

That’s just off the top of my head. Travel is the way to my heart. I’m a natural born tourist. Also, I have to look for the perfect location for my beach wedding 🎩 👰🏾 Thoughts become things and all of that 😉

To close, remember memories are valuable and try to capture as many moments as you can with loved ones while you still have them with you. Also, please try your best to be a good memory for someone or people you come into contact with. I know that can be hard, trust me, sometimes people try to draw you out 😒 Up middle finger to them and keep it moving! They don’t deserve your energy.

Love to you all 😘

I hope you enjoyed today’s blogpost and feel free to share your first family holiday experiences or suggestions on nice places for me to consider visiting.

Until next time.

Forever learning and evolving,

Elisha xxx

“We Are Family” (9)

Decisions of an 18 year old girl …

Music or my baby 🤔

Are you dumb? There was nothing to think about … my baby hands down 🤱🏽

Let’s go back in time for a minute 💭

Being a singer was always something I wanted to do growing up. From making up songs in the bedroom with my little sis (I Will Show You My Eclipse ☺️ – private joke lol), dancing and singing for the boys in the playground, singing for the older girls around the area to partaking in the odd talent shows here and there. I was always a little shy though but that didn’t stop me.

In December 2001, me and my little sis entered a talent competition at The Grand Hotel on Colmore Row, Birmingham. It was the first time we sang a song we were taught by our vocal tutor, Sophia, without hearing it before. My sis sang the first verse and then I came in. They loved it! They obviously knew it lol! The song was Use Your Heart by SWV. We got in 💃🏽 We were asked to come back the next day to sing again for everyone. We did that and as a result the guy who was organising the talent show, Tucker, introduced us to two of his cousins, a young girl and her big brother, along with two of his friends. They were all rappers and MC’s. We were all put together as a group to work with a guy called Tony Duke. Exciting times!

We started recording music and by the February I found out I was expecting. Whoa 😮 I continued for a little while but in the end I bowed out because there was no way I could continue under my circumstances. There was way too much going on and my support system has always been near enough non-existent. The group disbanded not long after. Sad times 😔

I had to put that all to the back of my mind for a minute because I had a baby to prepare for. I don’t regret my decision for one minute. Sometimes my son used to say to me,

“I wonder what your life would have been like if I wasn’t here?”

What??? That used to break my heart a little bit every time. I don’t think this boy understands even though I used to tell him,

“You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I don’t want to hear you say that to me again.”

On the surface, it may have sounded dreamy to some degree that I could have had a music career before him but inside I was writing poetry about about being stuck in a box feeling unloved and didn’t know where to turn in order to find the happiness I was seeking. I didn’t talk too much about my life at the time to anyone either. Talking my truth would mean I would have to mention other people because they were involved so I felt trapped for a long time.

Being a mum has allowed me to safely love someone and let go of a lot things that were holding me back emotionally. I’ve grown so much as a person and I continue to grow more and more all the time. He gave me a purpose even when things seemed bleak at times. I’ve overcome things people only hear about on TV and I can confidently say that not a lot of people can walk in my shoes. With all the life experience I have and knowing myself so well I can go forward and pursue certain things that I couldn’t before. My son is grown and less dependent on me so I’m looking forward to the future. We’ve always spoke about my plans, while discussing business ventures together and individually so we’re good 😁

For now I’m just figuring out what direction to take with my music, writing songs, blogging, working on my fitness and sorting out my YouTube channel. Sounds like a plan to me 🏆

I hope you enjoyed today’s post and if you have any stories or thoughts you would like to share with me, feel free.

Until next time.

Forever learning and evolving,
Elisha xxx

Breaking Into Beauty (3)

Is it trampy that today is the first time I’ve washed any of my make up brushes???

I never really thought much about it before because I’ve only used specific brushes for specific things and I change them frequently over the years. I’ve never mixed bronzers on one brush etc but it wasn’t until I invested in Bare Minerals make up in September that it opened my eyes to actually cleaning them. This was the first time ever I’ve had to apply my foundation using a brush.

At first, it was simple because the brush didn’t get that messy, it was new and had a plastic cover you put over the bristles to keep them soft but not too long ago I lost the plastic. My bristles slowly started to harden. Not so bad that I couldn’t use my brush but it just didn’t feel nice on my skin. I needed help! I spent a bit of money on these brushes, and the old way of me just throwing them away and getting new ones was not something I was looking to do this time around lol!

I searched the net for advice and tips and found a fellow blogger’s site and thought I would share it with you. When I come to think of it, I’ve had conversations with people about make up etc but never seen or heard anyone say they’re cleaning or have cleaned their brushes. My girl circle is tiny anyhow so this may just be my experience.

The site info is: http://makeuptips-blog.com/post/89315060234/how-to-clean-your-makeup-brushes

I hope you found this helpful. Feel free to share how you clean your make up brushes and how often. Recommendations on good brushes are welcome also.

Until next time.

Forever learning and evolving,

Elisha xxx