“We Are Family” (8)

It’s time to Spring Clean my life! Out with the old and in with the new!

Hey guys, it’s been a while, had a lot going on recently:

– Started my first job within the beauty industry a couple of months ago, which I’m settling into quite well but may need to put the feelers out for something with more hours soon. I’ve got some plans I need to put into action and my shift pattern doesn’t allow much flexibility for the way in which I need to move around.

– I decided to refresh my living room. Who told me to do that? Lol! Stripping my ceiling has been so tiring! This task alone has me realising for the first time how big the room actually is. Even though me and my son have been taking it in turns to do it, it feels like it’s taking forever! I also had my uncle and cousin help me take my sofas, rug and a few other things out for the council to collect, so I’m right back to basics. Kind of like when I first moved in 13 years ago but with more stuff and not as much work to do lol!

I like decorating and even went to college to study it a few years back but I kept putting it off because I didn’t want to put anymore money into my house. I just wanted to move. I need a new, fresh space so I’ll just brighten up the place while I’m working on that. My hand was forced with this decorating to be honest because my boiler leaked into my living room. There was torrential rain in the dining area of the living room for over an hour! No jokes! Did the council care? No! It’s the second time it has happened now. It messed up my ceiling wallpaper and paint work, I just couldn’t leave it like that so a few cost effective changes will make me feel a bit better in the meantime. It’s taking me a bit longer than I thought it would but I’m getting there slowly but surely.

– I allowed myself to care about someone for the first time in a long time, who by their actions didn’t appear to feel the same. I voiced my thoughts and feelings about something and as a result they tried to silence me. Whoa! I’m human, not a robot! One of the things I was trying to get away from came right back to me. I can’t allow someone to cut the tongue out of my mouth. I wrote about this in my blogpost “I Was Just Thinking” (2). It’s hard work not to let hurt make your heart turn into an ice box but I tell you, my optimism keeps me going. Operating from a place of hurt is not a good thing to do so I’ve kept it as nice as possible. You can’t take back negativity once you’ve put it out there. The other person may forgive but never forget. That negativity came from somewhere.

I know more than ever that I need someone who knows how to communicate and can handle my honesty without being intimidated by it. The man I am supposed to be with will lead me with respect and love in order for me to relax so the lady inside that I have to protect can come out. I’m tired of being mistreated. Come correct or leave me alone. I wish them well in all their endeavours but to be around me you need to operate in love or definitely be working on it as I understand it’s hard for some people to do if they don’t know how.

– Finally, I failed my driving test for the second time for something really silly. Waiting at a roundabout, went to pull off and the car wasn’t moving. I was getting mad at myself thinking I wasn’t get my bite right until the examiner had to say to me, “I’m just letting you know the car’s in third gear.” I didn’t even think to check the gears again smh! FAIL!

Booked my next test as soon as I got home and I’m preparing for that one now. Hopefully I’m third time lucky 😁

One of the main lessons I’ve learnt during the first quarter of 2018, I need to stop attacking myself when things are going wrong because even when there’s evidence that it’s not me personally doing something wrong, I will still beat myself up first. I need to take a minute, breathe, evaluate then beat up whoever deserves it lol! Only joking! I just need to relax.

As for today being the 1st of April, I decided to start afresh and believe that going forward from today the energy changes. I welcome positivity, love, and light into my life more than ever. I’m getting my focus back. The only way is up!

Thanks for taking time to read my blogpost and if you would like to share any experiences or your Spring Clean plans feel free.

Until next time.

Forever learning and evolving,

Elisha x