“We Are Family” (11)

we are fam 11

Being a mum has been the most rewarding job I have ever had but it is hard sometimes. It develops a strength in you that you may not have thought you originally had, especially when facing hard times.

I am so thankful that have my son.  He gives me a reason to stay focused and keep it pushing through anything that comes my way.

We’ve been through so many ups and downs over the years and knowing that no matter what is going on, I have look after him, keeps me motivated.

Times when I’m feeling low or burned out, I know I need rest but I can’t stay down too long.

Times when things don’t seem to be working out how I’d like, I have to find another way forward.

Times when I need to smile, he may say something to me that reassures me that I’m doing a good job, whether he realises the impact of what he said or not.

When I think back to when had him at 18, I wasn’t around anyone else who was having children until I moved into a mother and baby unit, due to me not being able to stay living with my mum, as she wasn’t well.  My son and I left home and moved out of our familiar areas when he was 3 1/2 weeks old.  The mother and baby unit was like a hostel for mothers and babies, where you share a flat with another mother and child with 24 hour staff, midwives and stay and play.  I stayed there for 6 months before moving onto my second.

The second hostel was further out again with staff on site from early morning until 9pm Monday – Friday.  We had our own little flats and were taught to be more independent, preparing us for when we moved into our own properties.  I learnt a lot and met quite a few people that I am still in touch with.

I’ve been living in this house I’m in now for 13 1/2 years and is the longest place ever lived consistently throughout my whole life.  That may sound stable and I suppose it is in comparison to some but I’ve never had it how I want it.  That is something I am always working on.  To be honest, I’m hoping to move out of it soon.  It is something I scarily look forward to.  My neighbours have watched me and my son grow up and evolve into the people we are today.  When we first moved here, I was 21 and my son was 2 1/2 years old.  There have been loads of memories and ghost of old faces attached to this house but I am looking forward to moving on,  I need a fresh space.

I digress … the point I was making was, there is no rule book to parenting and believe me I have tried and continue to try to be the best the mum I can.  I’ve watched others, read books and took courses over the years to help me.  I only had one cousin who had three children at a young at the time and I used to visit him and his girlfriend often before I even thought about having a baby, so I knew it wasn’t going to be easy.  None of my school friends or siblings had children, so it was a lonely path at times.  But I took on the sole responsibility and have kept persevering.

If I didn’t have any more children in future, I wouldn’t be upset because I have one and he is amazing ❤ but the idea is lovely ❤

There are things I would like to experience such as parenting as a couple.  Like, both of you maybe planning it all, being there at the birth and both sharing the responsibility with both parent’s input.  Even though I have done it alone for the most part, TEAMWORK MAKES THE DREAM WORK!  I would just love to know what that would be like.  Single parent households seems way too common.  I would like to be with someone who wants to break the mold and we can show each other something different.

Apologies if I went off a little bit, I just write what’s on my mind at the time.

I hope you enjoyed today’s post and if there is anything you would like to share, please feel free.

Until next time.

Forever learning and evolving,

Elisha xxx

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